Dear Weasley Family & Friends,
"Who is that girl I see starring straight back at me. Why is my reflection someone I don't know? When will my reflection show who I am inside?" - Reflection, Mulan
Okay. This will not be a depressing letter home. It will NOT be a depressing letter home. So. This is awkward. This week was good, but hard. I LOVE it here. Really I do. But guys I am freaking out. As of 15 minutes ago, next week, I will be in Norway. I will be getting a trainer (fingers crossed) and teaching all the time. In full Norwegian. OH.MY.GOSH. Yesterday we skyped with real Norwegians. Okay, person I skyped with? Life changing. It was Brother and Sister Pederson and Brother Pederson used to be in the 70s a few years ago. Cool cool cool couple. But here's the thing. I'm a perfectionist. I struggle because I feel like the language isn't coming, or if I don't have a really strong feel of the Spirit, I'm just like well that was pointless. I'm trying to learn how to seperate myself, from the lesson. The truth is it doesn't matter about you. It doesn't matter if you were the star or if your Norwegian was steller. What matters is what THEY felt and what THEY need. #beingunselfishishard But its a work in progress. Yesterday I was reading in PMG about being a successful missionary. I read the list and you know what I did? I threw my book in the air and just walked away. How the freak am I supposed to be perfect? #getthehencesatan I'm doing okay though. Its a hard week. I have a lot to do and I don't feel prepared. One thing about the mish is your faults are magnified here. You see them so much more because you have the Spirit with you all the time. If you let it it can make you realize how much you suck, but you just got to pray. It hurts. Making your weaknesses become strengths is not easy. Actually emotionally I don't know if I have ever done something harder. But I know that the Lord is right here. I know that I have legends of angels around me helping me to accomplish my work. #keepthefaith
This is week is tough for the whole district. We have all be getting news of people that are passing away back home. Were working through it though. #soldieron
Okay, now on to the real things in life.
Quotes of the week:
Elder Gustafson: " There is a difference between a body check and a body slide."
Poor Gusty. We were all talking in a circle and I was in mortal combat/serious conversation with another Elder and Gusty thought he could just slide right through. Nope. He completely body checked me on the way through. What a creep. Anywho I kept telling him all day because I couldn't miss the opportunity to annoy him and he told me he didn't body check me, he body slid. Um. More uncomfortable than before. Who said missions weren't fun? I don't think I have ever laughed my head off anymore than now.
Old ladies here are kinda mean. They are always judging us. Note to women that work in the MTC: Be nice. Remember unless you our are presidency or our Ward leaders, you have no say over us. So stop being snotty. Its not cute.
Alterations lady: Oh I see your shirt is big. Would you like us to take that in for you too.
A.L.: Actually, do you know how hard it is to look at someone wearing strips? I mean good thing you have this collar to frame it otherwise no one would know where to look. If you want someone to listen to something that is coming out of your mouth then you should probably wear a plain shirt. Just a thought. *sweet smile*
I looked over at McArthur, who had her mouth hanging open, and seriously almost died. HAHAHAHAHA! Who says stuff like that?!!! I informed the lady I didn't know that and I was ever so thankful for her help. #oldandsenile #gottolovethem
So here I am in class. Just doing me thing. They inform me that I am going to be skyping with members. I panic. I make eye contact with one of my fellow districters. I start to cry. Brother D pulls me and McArthur out in the hall. He talks to us about how the Spirit takes what we say and transforms it into what they need to hear, so don't worry. This is what he says.
Brother D: Your words don't mean a Damn thing.
And I mean that without the "n" on it.
Us: ......... what......???
Okay so about my week! Last Tuesday Elder Russel M. Nelson came to devo. The way things work is that once we get to devo we find out who is coming. Here we are sitting and waiting at devo and nothing is coming up on the screen. I was just like for the love! Someone tell a sister what is happening! Well we start to sing our songs and in the middle of it Elder Nelson walks in. It was amazing. The Spirit hit me so strong! It was like a wave of reference, and we all stood up as soon as we saw him and kept singing. So cool! I wanted to share a little about his talk. It was all on ancestors and the fact that we are entitled to have help from both sides of the veil. It was one of the most amazing talks I have ever been to. We were told that we are able to call upon our ancestors to be with us. We can ask for them by name or attribute, or trait that we need that day. And not only that but the ancestors of those we teach will be with us. They have been waiting for so long, and once we unlock those keys they can have their work done. It was amazing. When I heard about Aunt Jan and Grandmother's work being done, I started to cry. Actually I am crying right now. Sometimes, like today, it is hard to be without you all. If I don't have time it doesn't bother me. Days where things slow down then I start to think about it. But knowing that Grandmother and Aunt Jan will be here with me guiding me to others and supporting me in times of trials makes me feel so at peace! Favorite quotes?
"Just as a doctor can ease the physical pain of a person, a compassionate missionary can ease the pain of the soul." and
"Be humble because a lot has been accomplished before you were born."
It was amazing. He is amazing. It makes it so much easier to leave you guys when I know that all of my family is still around me barring me up. When I can't go on, I know that they can. And I will do it for them.
We got our travel plans this week! I know you are all excited. Yes Mom, I do come through DFW. But it is very clear in the rules that we are not to see family. Honestly, rule or not, I can't. It's too hard out here for me to see you guys again and just have to leave. These last 6 weeks have helped me slowly focus on this work and forget everything at home. It would just be too hard if I saw your cute faces again! I don't think I'm emotionally stable enough! But I do have lots of lay overs which means lots of phone time. Some missionaries in my zone are having their parents send them a prepaid cell phone with the numbers of their families in it and tons of minutes on it. That way they can just walk around and don't have to take turns with the pay phones. If you wanted to do that I would be down. I would be able to talk longer that way. They are just sending them in the mail and then once they are done with them they are throwing them away. It wouldn't work abroad anyways. It's your choice! Let me know! Here are my travel plans!
SLC 12:15 pm
DFW Ar 3:50
DFW Lv 645
London 935 am
London lv 1:05 pm
Oslo 4:15 pm
I'm going to London!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO CLOSE TO HARRY POTTER I CAN FEEL IT! #teampotter
Did you guys know they are calling this new generation of missionaries the Baby Boomers? I guess thats what everyone out in the field is referring to us as. Honestly, the baby boomers had some great people, so I'm down. As long as I don't have to start going by like Pearl or something. #notaboutthatlife
You guys. I hate Thursdays here. I feel like life is just too much on those days. #trudgingthrowbackthursday See our weeks go like this. Sunday, fab day. Total chill and all spiritual and stuff. No Norsk. Monday, easy day. We are done at 745 and have personal workout time where we all go outside and just hang out with the Elders and stuff. Tuesday, Pday! Wednesday, our monday. Hard to get back into the swing of things. Thursday, I.Want.To.Die. We like cant focus. Can't think. Can't speak either language. We have to have like 6 pep talks from our teachers. #hatetrudgingthrowbackthursday Friday, we struggle but it gets better. Saturday, I want to murder the whole district because I love them so much that they drive me crazy. And then we do it all over again. Its now just really funny because we know whats going to happen. We probs fight the most on Saturday. I just try to zone out. After spending 16 hours a day together, you really get to know these people. But seriously, they are the BEST!! I'm lucky!
So I told you guys that Brother D came back, right? The one I "struggle" with. Well he came back in full force this week. His first day here I was struggling! I was so annoyed with him and then even more annoyed at myself for being annoyed. So basically I'm just pissed at myself. So we start watching a movie and I just let it out. I'm like bawling and trying to kick myself in the face. He looks up and he is like "Hodgkiss, outside." I'm like um.... I think this is a bad idea. But is sad "Nope, Hodgkiss let's go." So I go outside. And He is like what is up? And I start laughing and crying. And I was like "I don't like you." and you know what he did? He started laughing, put is arm on me (he is a little different then most teachers) and said okay lets go talk it out. So he listened to me cry and talk for like 30 minutes about how I hate myself. And he was the BEST! He wasn't offender, actually more hurt that I thought he thought I was stupid, and was so sweet. I told him listen if you tell me about yourself then I can't hate you, I just know it. So we talked about him. It was great! He is totally Brent y'all. Awks how if I would have met Brent in another life I would have hated him at first. But seriously, he is so funny. Now that I understand he doesn't hate me, life is good. I tease him. He teases me. I pretend its actually Brent. And it's like I never left home. He is so out there! Like everything you don't expect from a MTC teacher, but that's the best thing about him. He is just so real. He doesn't try to be anything he isn't and he will tell you anything about himself. So great. Of course he doesn't replace my love for my other teacher, Brother B. But that's because Brother B is like walking on sunshine and I've also spent 7 weeks with him. #teambrotherb
But the cool thing is what Brother D told me about my lessons. I was telling him I felt that I wasn't effective and that I wasn't being the missionary I needed to be. If you guys don't remember, he was my first investigator and I told you all about the experience I had with him about prayer and how prayer had effected my life, especially through cancer. He told me that he usually isn't the first investigator and that it was really hard for him to do. Right before we taught him that lesson he texted my other teacher Sister Brown and said that it sucked and he hated it. We came in and taught the lesson and he said that it was everything that a lesson should be. He told me that it was the best lesson he has ever been taught here at the MTC and that the Spirit was the strongest he had almost ever felt. He told me that I reinstilled in him what can come from missionaries in 3 days, and that after that lesson he would have committed to anything we wanted. He said after we left he grabbed his phone and just threw it across the room. He texted Sister Brown and was like Wow. You know the cool thing? I'm not proud of my talents. I suck at Norwegian. Really I do. I'm proud that I was worthy for the Lord to work through me. Although he is pretending to be an investigator Brother D has needs too. He has things he is going through and questions he wants. And how great is it that the Lord can use us to help another? Go read Isaiah 6. <- This is me being a missionary. #iknowyouarelaughingatmeforthis
I learned to count to a trillion this week in Norwegian. Seriously life goal, of 1 month, complete. #livingthedream
Daniel wrote me, it was lame. #after2yearsofwritinghestillsucks #heisgoingtoreadthisonedayanditwillbeawkard #brentsendmeadearelderoffullhashtags Anywho, what do you do? Can't change a person. I just wrote a brilliant letter back. Got to change the world somehow.
Sotten of Mai!!! The 17th of May is Independence day for Norway! We had a party and our teachers brought us homemade Norwegian goodies. Oh man life was good!
Oh, heads up. When sending me anything to Norway, use the US Postal services always. Don't know how often that will be (probs only on my bday and Christmas) but just remember that! Otherwise there are a lot of problems!
I LOVE THE CLOTHES YOU GUYS ARE BUYING ME!!!!! Eeekkkk!!!! They are all so cute! How did I miss that when I was looking?!! Love it! Thank you so much! I will send pics later so you can see some of them! Seriously though, I don't think you know how much I appreciate your packages and letters. It is so good to hear from all of you. You always say something that I need to hear and it helps me to stay motivated. I love it. I love hearing about your day to day things, or all the freaking cute things your kids say. Gavin and Jade? I am dying! Letters from Bry and Tommye? I hang them up in my room! It is so much fun! Mom, I am so glad that you only have a kidney infection. Every time I started to think about you it would get so nervous. I hope that they put you on some strong medicine and that it clears up real soon! Keep me posted on everything! Katie, your trip sounded like so much fun. I cried when you talked about your friends with the quads. I can't imagine losing a baby. Goodness. And giving that little baby a fathers blessing before it died? Oh my. How is naming going? I seriously can't wait to hear about the name! He is going to be so cute! Annie! I am dying with all the pictures! Heston is getting so big!!!! And the girls are so beautiful! I have the prettiest family in the world! Darrin, I am so excited about your interview!! Please keep me posted on how it went and the outcome! Twin falls is so lucky to be getting y'all! Heather and Shawn- just tell me about your lives. I have to know how it is all going. I need more quotes from Gav. They keep me sane. Lins and Jord- I mean really. Just tell me. Are you millionaires or not? I mean we're family. I don't believe in boundaries. Don't forget the team Hailey fund. Kyle- heard you are doing well out there selling! Keep it up! I am so proud of you! You're proving the world wrong with every sell. Keep it up! Soilder on! Brent and Lor- you guys are precious. I hope that summer work is going well! I have to know if you meet and crazies. I love awkward stories. Make it a goal to tell one a day, and experience one a day. #teamneilsonissupercreepy #ithoughtelderscouldntlikesisters #teamneilsonandmcarthur #mcarthurdoesntwanttoberecruited Corby, you are beyond my favorite person with a dimple. I miss it. And you life changing stories. You really are the best. I wanted you to know that #1. I have gone a full month without taking a day off from wearing makeup or looking cute. 17 more to go. Keep your eye on the prize #dreamsdocometrueifyouworkhardenough and 2. I love my Nyquil. Use it like its going out of style. Changing lives is hard work, I tell ya. :)
So I leave Monday morning, so if you are writing me make sure it gets here by Sat. They don't print off Dear Elders on Saturday so if you are writing me on there write by Friday. I am sending a small package of somethings home. They gave us our own mission language scriptures, so I will send my copy home. And probs all the letters I have gotten so far, since its like a TON! You guys are the BEST!
I will be sending pictures in a bit, so if you have any questions just email me back!
I'VE BEEN ON MY MISSION ONE WHOLE MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep it real. Keep it classy. And may the odds be ever in your favor.
Dan Dan- WELCOME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have my calendar so if I missed anything else! Sorry!
There is this Mama mouse who is taking her baby mouse out to get some food. They are walking and a big cat jumps in front of them and starts hissing and getting ready to pounce. The Mama mouse, without any thought for herself, jumps in front of her baby and says "WOOF!!! WOOF!!! WOOF!!!" The cat, scared, runs away. And the Mama mouse turns to her baby and says "That's why it's important to learn a second language!!!!"
Living the dream, y'all