Friday, July 26, 2013

"Courage is a kind of salavation"--Beautiful Chaos

Dear Weasley Family and Friends,
     "Courage is a kind of salvation." - Beautiful Chaos
    Well, I should probably put this out there now. This email probably won't be very long. I went hiking today and then there was a mix up with the computer situation, so my time is running short on this p-day. Man. You want a day to get away from you, just have a p-day. Hiking was a blast though. We went with the Mckenzie family! They are from Idaho Falls, Idaho and moved here for a job. They have 4 kids, their youngest is 7. She looks just like Tommye-Lynn! Its crazy. Everyone who knows her and then looks at my family pictures says the same thing. Tom Tom, you have a twin on the other side of the world!
       You know courage is a hard thing to have. I find that in the mission field it is something I am constantly frustrated with that I don't have it. Contacting on the street is tough. Can you imagine going up to people you have never met and speaking to them about God? Then of course you add in the fact that it will be in a foreign lang and that just takes it to another level. I struggle with it. I have to battle myself every time! Its annoying and I hate that I give into my fears. The thing I have learned though is that when I am courageous and I speak up, I don't feel like a failure. Does it suck that they don't listen? Of course! But the fact is that at the end of the day I can account to the Lord and know that I did everything I could to bring His children back to Him. Courage is a kind of salvation. It pushes us to make choices that we need for our happiness. Satan doesn't need to kill us to accomplish his work. All he has to do is make us stop talking. Kinda intense when you think about it that way huh? 
           Investigator wise we are having trouble. I used to think I knew what heart break was like before I came on the mish. I had had some sucky break ups or some "depression" spells, but that is nothing compared to the heart break you feel on the mish. Nothing is worse then when your investigators don't progress. Nothing is worse then you baring your heart and soul out to them and putting it all on the line and then them telling you that they "don't need the Atonement". Heart break. I can't describe what it is like to teach someone for a long time and then have them not accept it. We have a lot of those this week. I called my ZL, Elder Earl, on Wednesday and just cried on the phone. I called to ask for advice on what to do, but it ended up me just kinda losing it. Its like a knife to the heart. You come to care about these people so much, and then they just say they don't want it. They don't want salvation. Many times, you know they have felt the Spirit. You know part of them believes it, but they just won't act or accept it in their head. That is a tough feeling. I really hope this week there will be less heart break and more success. I keep telling myself that if this week wasn't the greatest then that must mean something great is coming. We "receive not witness until after the trial of (our) faith." How true is that?
              Rami and our family are the ones that aren't doing too well. Our family dropped us. We found out that one of her son's has cancer. Søster Hilton tried to get an appointment, but she just wasn't having it. I took the phone and told her about my story and bore my testimony to her about the power of the Atonement through our trials. I told her about how my mom was the one to help me so much through my sickness, and my family was the only thing that made me happy. I felt the Spirit so strongly and she was just quiet after I finished. And then, she still said no. I cried a lot that night. I felt terrible. I have been through all of that, and I couldn't help. But the Lord has testified to me that I did all I could. I bore testimony of all I should, she still has her free agency.
             Today when we were hiking, we were climbing over these wobbly rocks and I started to lose my balance. I couldn't get my footing and so I just kept tripping and stumbling closer and closer to the edge. My ZL, E. Leighton, was there and just kept saying "! Whoa! Whoa!". He didn't even stick out his hand to help! Que "I see your true colors shinning through..." I mean really! I ALMOST DIED! Thank goodness there are Angels around us. I can't tell you the number of times I should have fallen straight on my face and magically didn't. #blessedarethosewhoarepersucutedformyname
                Mom, in my box home to you from the MTC are a few letters that I would LOVE to have. Shawn's letter and then the Dear Elder from Corby that talks about fear. Seriously, I want to kick myself in the face everyday for not having them. Do you think you could send them? Or maybe just scan them and send them in a email?
                It sounds like everyone is doing well. Party in Texas!! I loved all the pictures that got sent to me!! Everyone is so cute! The 3 month picture? I want to cry its so cute! Kate, you look amazing! Seriously the cutest. He is going to be here so soon! Eeekkk!!! I am sorry that this email is so short! I want to send pics though! I love you all! I will write a MUCH better email next week! But, to give you some good news, we are teaching a girl named Terri! She is from the US and is a neuroscience student here. She is way cool! I really hope we see success with her! I will hollar at you all laters! I want lots of detailed emails next week! Love you all! 
Keep it real. Keep it classy. And may the odds be ever in your favor.
Love,
Katniss

Shout Outs:
LIns & Jord- HAPPY 2nd ANNV!!! I love you guys! Man! Hollar at making it to 2 years. #overcomingdivorcestatistics I hope that you guys get to celebrate via skype or something. Just keep loving each other. Don't stop. Que "Don't stop believing..." 

Mills- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You can't read, but I hope you look back on this one day and remember that your Aunt Le Le, who you won't remember when I get home, remembered YOUR birthday! I was THERE when you were BORN! 

Brent & Lor- HAPPY 5th ANNV!!! 5 years. Man. That's a lot. I love your marriage! You guys are so cute! Hopefully you get to celebrate together too. I know this has been a cra cra worldwind of a summer for you guys! Eat at some nice restaurant and have some chocolate for me. #stilldietingorshouldisaypretendingtodiet


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